| Your Brain's Pattern |
 You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination. |
Athletic? Only if geocaching counts!
| You Are an Iced Coffee | ||
 At your best, you are: hyper, modern, and athletic At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you're out with friends and at work Wednesday, November 22, 2006Happy Thanksgiving!
There are too many things for me to be thankful for to list them all. For that I am grateful. Hope you all have a wonderful holiday.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006Hinder: Lips of an Angel
I love this song. There was code that was supposed to put the video here, but it wouldn't play. I'll try again later.
Saturday, November 18, 2006Sleeping Better
I have been sleeping with my c-pap machine for two days. It will take a few weeks to adjust to it, but so far so good. I chose a "pillow" that fits under my nose and above my upper lip with two buds pointing up into my nostrils. It has a built in heated humidifier. I don't feel like Darth Vader, but it is interesting sleeping in it. Yesterday, I woke up sleepy but relaxed. Have not been relaxed in a long time. Today, it was not quite as nice. My son went to his granny's and my husband went geocaching, so I napped until about 1:30. Not sure why, but maybe I am just playing catch up.
Here's hoping it helps, and I adjust. The second sleep study showed that it reduced my holding my breath from 24-30 plus times per hour to 1. : )
LOL - well the description sounds okay, but the jobs don't really reflect my interests.
Sunday, November 12, 2006Three Little Girls In School
My life contains so many blessings and always has. Unfortunately, when I reflect on my youth, I realize that I have not always been fair or kind to those that blessed me the most. If blogs allow us to exorcize our demons and write about how we feel, I owe some wonderful people both apologies and my love. Where better to give them than here - since I am a bit too cowardly to do it in person? LOL!
In seventh grade, I met people that would change and shape my life. There were several wonderful people that helped me get through the awkward teenage years and personal losses. None gave me more or remain with me in my heart more than two of my fellow bloggers: Cheryl and Jennifer. I met these wonderful people (and their families) through church and bonded with them at church camp. Cheryl and I became best friends for the next 5 years. Though Cheryl and Jennifer were friends first (and longest), and despite the fact that Jennifer introduced me to Cheryl, Jennifer accepted me graciously. My deepest regret from that time period is that I was not nearly so gracious a friend in return. My life story is a bit unusual. Cheryl and I actually share a lot of unusual family characteristics. The two primary ones being having older parents (especially our fathers) and having older half siblings yet really being raised as only children due to the age differences. Because we had so much in common, she became a true sister-of-my heart. Not that I didn't love Jennifer, but I latched onto Cheryl. Bless Cheryl's heart, she put up with my demanding friendship and never seemed to blink. In many ways my friendships came with a price - I wanted to be the center of the friendship. Not just with Cheryl, but more so with her. It especially bothered me when Cheryl and Jennifer did things together without me. Irrational, yes, since they lived about a mile apart and had been friends first, but did I mention that I was not a gracious friend? In high school especially, I boasted an attitude. I tried to be friendly and fair to people, but if you ticked me off, you knew it. Let's just say that over the years, Jennifer and I successfully ticked each other off a lot. Hehe... it was a mutual thing. Sometimes I acted like a 5-year old, and sometimes she shared information that she said she wouldn't - hmmm, passive aggressive? Let's remember that we were teenagers, and despite the fact that I treated her poorly at times, I claimed Jennifer and her family as family. I knew how to throw a wonderful mad, and Jennifer knew how to ignore you (hearing aids turn off don't they?). Also, I loved to play the "you don't exist" game. Cheryl became a master of supporting me without alienating Jennifer. Naturally, they just didn't tell me when they did stuff sometimes. When I found out about some of those times, I'd get mad. See a pattern here? We did do some things together well, but all too often I'd ruin a wonderful opportunity for us to become the three amigos because of jealousy. My apologies go out for these occasions. We could have been a wonderful trio. In retrospect, and many years of psychology classes and working as a VR Counselor later, it appears to me that I may have been experiencing depression and some OCD issues from an early age. My family (both sides) is rife with emotional/mental health conditions. I realize now and did then that what I expected from my friends and how I reacted to them was a little too emotional and demanding. Bless them all for continuing to put up with me!! College pretty much split my close friendships. It was too hard for me to hear from Cheryl about what she and other friends from home were doing while I was away. Never mind that my life hadn't stopped and didn't revolve around them. Again, did I say that I was gracious? We all went through trials and tribulations, and I was not there for them as I should have been despite the distance. (Another of my life regrets is that I did not fight the snow or threat of storm to make it to Cheryl's Daddy's funeral. I should have and am deeply sorry.) As an adult, I handle things much better. Still, I don't make friends easily. I have friends at work and through my distance education class, but not friends that I do things with. I work, come home, take care of my family, and that is about it. Events in my life - the death of my grandmother in 7th grade and the death of my father my junior year of college - created some of my distance and lack of interaction with others, but I know that I could change that if I wanted to. One of my besetting sins was and sometimes still is that I shared private information about friends with other friends because I thought that it could help them or that person could help me think of a way to help them. Unfortunately, that often lead to gossip and turned out more as a betrayal than a help. This habit has diminished greatly over the years, and I know and respect boundaries better than I did. I also know that sometimes people just need to talk and not have their problems solved. It seems that I continue to avoid close friendships out of fear of rejection or causing pain. (Can't get much more honest or real than that folks!) Again, I know that I could change if I just worked harder at it. Jennifer keeps me involved in her life as much as she can, and she was wonderful when I was pregnant and had my son. Cheryl has her own life; we still manage to shoot each other e-mails. I read both their blogs. We all still live in the same town. I think we all turned out pretty cool. Jennifer remains passionate about her Christianity and now cochlear implants. Cheryl loves animals and does wonderful things to help save and protect them. Me? I am passionate about vision and vision loss and helping people receive services to adapt to vision loss. Maybe we can still become the three amigos. We have husbands and families, but that does not mean we can't be real friends. I know that Jennifer and Cheryl both do more with other people (and sometimes each other - I am glad) than I do. Maybe, I still only deal well with small numbers of people. I think that I could do better and be a better friend now. The question is ... have we all moved in too many different directions with too much water under the bridge to become true life-long friends? I hope not because I still love them both very much. One other friend that I owe the world and did not treat very well is Melissa. If she ever stumbles across this blog from Chattanooga, I hope that she knows that I love her and miss her. My friendship with her was different and in some ways closer, and I know that I could have treated her better. She is another wonderful person that put up with me. Okay, I needed to get all of that out. I read their blogs and realize that despite living within 10-15 minutes of each other we don't do much/anything together. If most or all of that is my fault, I apologize... and I miss you both. Tuesday, November 07, 2006Results with a Twist
I went back for my sleep study results. I do have moderate obstructive sleep apnea. They want to do a sleep study with a c-pap machine November 20th. My follow-up session for results and ordering my equipment will be December 13th. A little far away, but it's already been a year or more,so...
skip ahead several hours... So.... I get home from work last night. My course assignments due today by 11:00 p.m. safely uploaded. My son happily spending the night at his granny's, and my husband going to bed early with a toothache. I'm thinking about clothes that need washing, and the phone rings. It's the sleep center saying they have an opening TONIGHT. Did I want to come... are you kidding? God is good. I hit the road and get there close to the time I was scheduled for on the 20th. Let's just say that I was wrong when I thought I could not look any worse than last time. The two technicians were awesome but really believed in using the goo for the electrodes! Picture it... along with the funky hair and electrodes add in an elongated plastic tube stuck under my nose and above my upper lip. That's not all, folks! At some point in the night, the tech. comes in and says I'm breathing through my mouth but shouldn't be. So, she adds a lovely bright red chin strap to the mix! Yep... go ahead and laugh - I did. I left a little early as I became uncomfortable about 5:30, and the tech. took pitty on me. Drove home with a cup of coffee and Motley Crew's Dr. Feelgood CD blasting. Yes, under the veneer of age and education, I still LOVE the deafening roar of rock music (when it doesn't give me a headache - drat getting older). I know that I have some mild hearing loss from my teen years. I know that I can loose more now. But... it Feels Sooooo Good! Now you know waaaay too much about my inner child, so I will go get ready for work. Have a great day! Sunday, November 05, 2006Happy Halloween !
We saw quite a lot more acion this Halloween than originally intended. My son did not seem to feel well when I arrived at his granny's after work to pick him up. He was sleeping and difficult to wake up, so it appeared that between his cold and the rain the goody hunt was off. As we headed to the car, my boy woke up. I aked if he still wanted to go with granny around her neighborhood. He perked right up and away they went on her buggy.
My little fire fighter enjoyed the trick-or-treating and asked to do more. On the way to his grandma's I decided, "What the heck?" and stopped at a few houses on the road to the highway. Well, he racked up. The only glitch came when my direct 4-year old told one woman (after much deliberation and noting that the candy looked different) that he'd come back when she had the "right" kind of candy. Thus we began a conversaton in the car about people doing this for children to enjoy Halloween and the need for politeness. He acknowledged the need for curtesy, but maintained that she did not have the right kind of candy. LOL! That's my boy! He kept me going until about 7:40. We picked up his daddy and did a few more stops. Finally about 8:00 p.m. we knocked off and headed to Krystals for some bring home supper. I enjoyed it but felt dead tired! Three humorous things that happened. One - there were two people on a porch with a scary dummy holding their candy bowl. When my son went to get the candy, the dummy moved! Turned out to be a person after all. Scared us both. Two - he kept telling everyone that asked if he was a firefighter that "it's just a costume." Three - one man asked him to put out the fire in his jack-o-lantern since he was a fireman. It took several puffs, but my little man finally succeeded. He laughed and took pride in his work! Sleep Study 2
Hmmm, for those who have seen the movie Hellraiser (or it's previews), you will appreciate it when I say that I bore an uncanny resemblance to Pinhead once the technician had all of the electrodes on my head with hair mussed up around them for my sleep study. It proved quite interesting to sleep that way. The worst part was the tube in my nose to measure the oxygen intake. It annoyed me plus had "Y" tubing under my chin that prohibited movement. Still, sleep I did.
The results of the study remain a mystery. When I woke up that morning, the tech. thought the morning crew would keep me for a day study. He said something about averaging results and some good REM sleep. I'm not sure what that means, but the day crew did not keep me for the day studies. They sent me off to my unit meeting for work in the rain! I went last Thursday to receive my official results. My consultation and study took place in Smyrna, but the follow-up was scheduled for Murfreesboro. Unfortunately, therer was someone with the same name (except for middle initial) with a file in the Murfreesboro office. They did not realize that I did not fit their file until I had spent 40 minutes waiting (and almost sleeping in a very comfortable chair). They called to get the results faxed, but noone had scored them. The people that could scrore them had left for the day. They were very apologetic and nice about it all. They won't charge me for either that visit or the one tomorrow. Supposedly they will double check and be sure that they have my results! More later.
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